Recently, I was out driving around Rockhampton and silently judging everyone’s driving. I noticed all the traffic was going to one place, and unusually, it didn’t seem to be Centrelink.
I followed some cars whilst observing most of the road rules and ended up at the showgrounds. I figured there was some kind of pop up food fair going on and the stuff must be awesome for all these people to be here.
It was only a short walk to the entrance, thanks to me only needing to do three laps of all possible parking spaces to find the absolute nearest one. Unfortunately, a lady at the gate robbed me. She was smiling the whole time so she totally knew what was up with it.
Once inside it turned out we were at a different kind of event. This one, based on what I could see, involved standing in lines to take turns getting into cages, and then screaming as much as you can until they eventually let you out.
Ignoring all of that I found the food section and ordered a few dagwood dogs for the princely sum of $8 each ($10 at the establishment next to it). For this price you get a free napkin and a dip into a mystery barrel behind the countertop. The dagwoods were generously-sized although the dip wasn’t. I stopped and thought about that for a bit too long before realising I was holding up the line.
They were pretty good, and worth it! I didn’t complain, and the kids didn’t complain. Some of you may not be aware, but sometimes if kids don’t like things they will let you know.
We walked along with our stick sausage entrees, discussing why we weren’t allowed to have sauce on the whole sausage, enjoying all the background screaming whilst playing chicken with baby prams that seem to be ultra wide this year.
Since we came all this way I suggested we try one of the games. I began to line up and then noticed the, “No Losers” sign above it. Did this mean that everyone wins, or that nerds aren’t welcome?
I noticed that roasted meat rolls were avalable at a very reasonable $15 or $18 each depending on which identical trailer you looked at. I asked my son if he wanted to eat mains here, or buy a car instead, and he opted for a car plus Hungry Jacks (I am not a good negotiator).
We did briefly discuss trying the dessert fairy floss which now conveniently came in 44 gallon drums, however it became apparent that there was no real food here.
Whilst leaving I reflected that hell must be something like this – endless screaming, queues, clowns, carnies, balloons busting, and sauce on one third of the sausage only.
It has taken me a while to write this review because I wanted to go back and try a few more items, but sadly they closed already.
But we all know if they do come back I’m going again anyway.
Note: This article originally appeared on the Rockhampton Food Rater Facebook page, and was written by me on 28 June, 2023.